Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always some reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memories seep from my veins
let me be empty
oh and weightless oh and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
in the arms of an angel
far away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
"Angel" - Sarah McLachlan
Heather held me through the night, and between that and the catharsis of crying and praying last night I had a blessed night of sleep last night. I truly felt like like I was wrapped in the wings of an angel when she put her arms around me and I drifted asleep.
As we lay in bed, I told her what I was thinking about on my way home, and what had made me cry, how I was worried that one night I might die, or fall into a coma and never wake up and never see my children again, and how scared I was. I started sobbing again, lying there in the dark, curled up against her. Heather pulled me close and kissed the top of my head and rubbed my shoulder.
"I don't just want to be a memory Heather. I want to be at my daughter's wedding. I want to be at her graduation. I want to be a grandfather. I don't just want to be a tombstone." I cried some more, and just lay there for a while.
In her room, McKenna rolled over slightly and cried for a second and then went back to sleep. Owen made some noises in his bed, and Heather and I just held each other for a long time. The next time I woke up, it was morning, and nothing bad had happened.
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