I got some positive comments about my blog yesterday about toxic people, most especially from Laura, and my buddy Jeff. I want to highlght what Jeff said here:
"Its really bad when you read something like what you wrote, you look in the mirror at yourself, and you think to yourself, "My God, could *I* have been that way?" The fact is, I was, to a limited extent, with someone who I really cared about, and I deeply regret it...and when the realization that you did something like this hits you, it really makes you want to hate yourself, and change, so that you never do it ever again. Hopefully something like this can be filed under the "lessons learned" category".
You know, I'm always afraid that I'll turn into my father, and that I'll treat people, especially Heather and my babies poorly. I hate thinking that despite all of the things that I have lived through and all of the things I have seen, the behavior I despised when I was grew up will bubble up out of me one day. I hope that it never does. Jeff's right though. We all need to look in the mirror and ask ourselves "Am I being a toxic person? Have I been? Why?" It's a painful question to ask, for me especially, because I need to admit whether I'm giving in to exactly the very the same things that caused me so much hurt and anger. But I figure that if I'm willing to examine myself and admit that yes I am being a jerk, then there's still hope for me to change. On the flipside, if I'm not being a jerk, then things are good.
Kudos to Jeff for being honest about his own actions and continuing this discussion. Thank you Jeff. I appreciate it.
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