The Inquirer recently ran a story about how some of the Philadelphia business-owners and politicians are pushing to have Philadelphia host the Summer Olympics. I'm a fan of the Olympics, but I don't think that Philly can host them. Here's my list of why:
1. Because Mayor Street, or whomever his hand-picked successor is, would try to find a way to make every athlete and coach coming to Philly pay the wage tax.
2. They'd never be able to find the athletes because they'd always be running to Delaware to buy things tax-free.
3. Athletes + (Cheesesteaks + Tastykakes + Funnelkakes + Pretzels) = Very sick athletes
4. Everyone would try to take Septa to get to events, but they'd have to take the train into the 30th Street Station and then pick up a bus, which would drop them off 13 blocks from the event, so they'd all have to huff it there and be late.
5. Because the area around the Italian Market would secede from the Union and declare itself a province of Italy for the two weeks during the Olympics.
6. New Jersey would keep whining that they should have gotten the Olympics instead of Philadelphia.
7. We'd have to hear the Rocky Theme EVERY DAMN TIME there'd be a boxing event.
8. The locals would refuse to attend any event that they couldn't drink beer at. "Well probably more people would watch synchronized swimming if you served beer".
9. The French athletes would keep getting pelted with batteries, beers, and whatever else the fans could find in the stands.
10. NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE, in Philadelphia could ever win a sporting event. Think about it. It'd be the first Olympics where only Bronze and Silver were awarded.
Dude, I can hear the Philly phreaks boooing you from here in Mechanicsburg. But you are so right, I really like #s 6, 9, and 10. One question, though, I don't understand what is wrong with the French? Why such animosity towards a peace-loving people? (ducking) :-)
Since I am from NJ, I have to say I have no desire to have the olympics here. Traffic is bad enough as it is. NYC is bucking to host the olympics in 2012 (I think that's the correct year). The city keeps running ads trying to convince New Yorkers to allow them to build a new stadium so that they can host the Olympics. As much as I would love to go to an olympic event, I don't want them held anywhere near where I live.
i think philly can do it... y would athletes eat the badd food if they know its not good for them.... plus y would there be no gold medals????
Sounds like you're a Philadelphian, Maurice, and I love it. Great article, unless you're not from Philly, and then i hate you. ::looks around the computer desk to see if there's anything he can throw in case he's not philadelphian::