I posted about the people I'd like to see Cthulu eat when he reawakens. I've got a new one!
Travis Frey, a real dickhead of a husband from Iowa, tried to force his wife to sign a contract that outlined her wifely duties. This included oral sex on demand, excluded her from wearing anything to bed, and a warning to not do anything "half-assed" or she'd lose her "good behavior days". When his wife balked at signing the contract he tried to kidnap her and a child, he assaulted her, and he's been downloading child pornography, because I guess building a marital prison for his on-demand sex slave just wasn't sexy enough for him.
Cthulu, please eat this fucker right away...or better yet, I hope his cellmate in prison gives him a contract outlining his duties as a bitch. I'm willing to bet many of the provisions on both contracts will be the same.
I hope Travis likes thongs and giving out oral sex.
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