(AP Newswire) - April 19, 2006 - Amid reports that Katie Holmes has given birth to a little girl named Suri, people around the world are reporting that Scientologists are moving en masse into Scientology Centers carrying "all of their worldly belongings".
A source close to John Travolta stated that he has completed work on a series of rocketships which will carry the entire body of Scientologists into space. What will happen then is a secret guarded closely by the Church of Scientology.
Doctors and nurses, speaking on condition of anonymity have confirmed that Katie Holmes did indeed give birth to a mostly whole L. Ron Hubbard, and that reports it was a girl are an attempt by the couple to delay the press until they too have flown into space.
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