It was recently revealed through secret documentation at Comedy Central that Mr. Colbert's continued rants on bears, highlighting them as the greatest threat against America, comes from a very dark place. You see, through his rapier wit and dry delivery style, Colbert is working us over so that we think there is no threat from bears. Oh no, we think it is only some ludicrous joke that he has dreamt up. But while we laugh, the bears are organizing, and like Howard Campbell Jr. in Mother Night, Colbert acts as one of our leading anti-bear voices while all along...he's really working for them.
Why else would he vilify bears in one breath, and then idolize Bill O'Reilly with the name "Poppa Bear" in the other. You thought you had us fooled, didn't you Stephen? But we're on to you. That's right big guy!
You're officially on notice Mr. Colbert...or should I say: Mr. Cole-bear
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