I am eddied and buoyed on a sea of suffering. Friends losing parents, medical emergencies, people losing jobs, other's marriages in turmoil; dissolving and somehow I am floating above this pain and anguish.
I look around me at all of this horror and wonder 'Are we next?" I see the lives snapping and hearts breaking and I think "Will I continue to be lucky enough to not know this?"
Yes, Heather and I have walked through some very dark times: the seizures, me losing my job twice, two high-risk pregnancies, a teeming crowd of other snarling wolves knocking down our door, threatening to drag us into the shade.
Maybe it's because we've already been broken, sat dejectedly on Christmas morning with no money to buy anything and no prospect, to sit in the hospital weeping so many times that we're insulated now.
And still I think it's folly to believe that we've somehow banked good karma and can avoid the next big disaster.
But right now I look around me at all of the people, my people, pierced by the sharp teeth of life and think "This too will pass". What cold comfort that must be...but it's true. So maybe instead of saying that, I can hold them, each one of them and say "I'm sorry this has happened. I'm sorry you're hurt. I'm sorry you are suffering. You probably don't feel it right now, but you are stronger than this moment's anguish. And I love you."
It's hard when you want to protect the people you love or at least help in some way...but knowing there is nothing you can do and feeling so helpless is the worst feeling in the world.
Sorry I haven't commented in so long.
Hi Maurice,
I ran into your blog again while googling something and then came to read the blog and this seems to be a very poignant entry.
I just pray to God that he gives you the courage and hope that things work out for you.
Regards,
m