Other Things You May Not Have Known Khalid Sheik Mohammed Did

In light of the stunning revelations, provided entirely willingly and never under duress or while being tortured (yeah right), from Khalid Sheik Mohammed, I thought it important to highlight some of the many things he did confess to that have gotten lost in the mix:

1. I shot Andy Warhol because of those damned soup cans,
2. I shot Archduke Ferdinand, thereby plunging Europe into WWI,
3. OJ is innocent. I stabbed Nicole and Ron,
4. I am responsible for New Coke,
5. I secretly sent those IMs, not Mark Foley,
6. I blew up the Hindenburg,
7. Oh, I gave John Wilkes Booth the gun he used to shoot Lincoln,
8. I created that dinosaur Barney,
9. I've was Katherine Harris' lover in college,
10. and I voted for Nader!

I bet he feels better getting all of that off his chest. I know I would.