May 2007 Archives

My opinion of organ donation has always followed that of George Carlin:
I'm not doing it because when I get into an accident I don't want the paramedics viewing me as a collection of spare parts to be harvested.

But in the last few years, especially since I've gotten married to a diabetic and had kids, I've had a nagging notion that I need to become a donor. I've usually pushed away the idea because it hasn't been time to renew my license, I don't have the time, it's not that important, I can do it later, etc, etc

Then yesterday I heard a story on the BBC World Report about the Dutch show that will involve a terminally ill woman choosing someone on TV to give her kidney to. I was immediately appalled by the idea, and I cheered when the BBC reporter challenged the producer of the show about why they were doing this: (and I'm paraphrasing here)

"The man who founded this channel died at a young age waiting for a kidney and we wanted to raise awareness about the lack of donors".

"Well couldn't you just make a documentary about that story?"

"Oh no! No one would watch the documentary. At least this is getting people's attentions."

And he was right. It got my attention. It shoved the notion straight into the center of my head.

Then tonight I read the story on Sepia Mutiny about an Indian-American who is dying from leukemia and needs a bone marrow transplant. More attention to the need for donors.

Again, it's been pushed to the forefront of my head. Alright, alright, I thought. I'll make a note to check the box when it's time to renew my license.

Sorting through today's mail, the registration for my new driver's license has arrived.

So the time is now. Alright God, I got the message. Loud and clear! This weekend when I renew my license, I'm going to become an organ donor.

I checked my weight on the scale and I'd dropped 4 lbs this week!

I'd just like to say: I'M AWESOME!

The thought occurred to me: "Why do we say 'I lost 4 lbs'"?

I didn't lose the weight. I'm not looking around under the couch for those 4lbs. I'm not tacking up posters on telephone poles: "Have you seen this blubber??? $25 Reward"

No, I kicked the fat to the curb. I told it to take a hike. I worked the fat off.

I don't even like the whole idea of calling it weight loss, as if it's some sort of bad thing for me to get thinner, because it's not, clearly. Certainly there are people like Posh Spice, Amy Winehouse, etc that are just way too thin, and if they did drop a few more pounds, we could call that a loss...well I guess if Posh just kept dropping till she vanished, it could be a good thing...but I digress.

I don't want to call it weight loss any more. But I don't like any of the alternatives either:

• Getting healthy


• Slimming down


• Toning my figure

Those all sound like I should be sharing triscuits on the back veranda with the Golden Girls and Richard Simmons.

There are others I don't like either:

• Body sculpting


• Bulking up

Too meathead-ish.

I'm afraid that if I start using those terms, I'll end up with Tony Little and selling juicers on TNT at 3am.

I want a more manly and modern term for what I'm doing:

• Thinning up
• Spartanizing
• Fat Destroying
• Body Refactoring

Yeah, I don't know.

All I know is that this week, I parted ways with 4 more lbs of fat, and I feel great.

I went to Giant with my wife this evening to pick up a few groceries for tomorrow, and while walking down the omnibus DVDs, VHS', magazine, books, office supplies, school supplies, cards, and toys aisle I noticed a few movies that looked...familiar:

I know Disney doesn't own the rights to the stories there were based on, and people have the right to build new derivative works off of these legends, or tell their own version of the legend, but it really is the cover of the Alladin that seals the deal for me when it comes to whom they're...deriving from.

Funny enough, these are as much to buy as the movies they're imitating. I'm going to go back this weekend and snap some better pictures and photograph the backs as well.

My wife and I have been looking for a new car to replace the little green Nissan I've been driving. Please don't let my Nissan read this, by the way, she's a very good car, but she's getting raspy. It's like riding on the back of Joan Rivers "OY this ROAD. And do you see the paint job on that Hyundai? Honey, that color went out of style in the Nixon Administration".

We'd been looking at the smaller sedans, light on the price, just something simple to get me to work, with AC, a decent stereo, and not much else.

But when we stopped by the local Toyota dealership we saw they had two Priuses...Priuii? I'd always wanted to drive one and here was my chance.

The salesman got the key fob and got us in and started going through his spiel. It was an epiphany. It felt immediately right. It was the car I'd always wanted to drive. It was the car I was meant to be in. I like fast cars, I like performance, I enjoy ripping down a winding road in a finely tuned machine, but this felt...more correct.

I liked the fact that it saved gas. We were getting 50 miles to the gallon on the highway. I liked the idea that I was going to be saving money on gas while driving. I liked the idea that I would be doing less harm to the environment and keeping the Earth a little tidier for my children. I liked all of the electronics in the car, and the little features in the car. It was fun, and I was hooked.

So we're going to get a Prius. It's not something we're going to buy in the next few days, but this fall, we'll get a Prius.

Two bad incidents in one night:

1. My wife and I are planning on taking the kids to DisneyWorld this fall. We scheduled a flight on US Airways and carefully picked seat assignments so each of my children would have a window seat and would be boxed in by ourselves and grandparents, who are going with us. When we submitted our order, the computer just changed all of our seating arrangements around, so first we were scattered across the plan, and then so we were sitting in a row all the way across the plane.

   We called and finally spoke to a customer service rep and got the situation rectified, or so we thought. My wife checked today, and our seating arrangements had been changed AGAIN! Worse yet, the seats we had so carefully chosen were given to other people. WHAT THE HELL?

   I called and spoke with someone and they tried to help me as best as possible, but apparently they can bump us at will, but not these other people.
   



2. 
   I bought a Dell last year for work when I started my new job. All was good. In the last 3 months, the laptop's fallen apart. The left control key fell off and won't stay back on. The battery keeps complaining that it can't charge anymore, so I get maybe 30 minutes of battery life when sitting idle, the volume controls on the front of the laptop act erratically, and NOW...my fucking power brick is broken. I don't know if a fuse blew, or what, but I can't charge my damn laptop, and I have no batter power. Awesome.

   AWESOME.

   And I discovered this a minute after the Dell customer service line closed. So I have to wait until tomorrow to call them.

   The next computer I'm getting will NOT be a Dell.
   

UPDATE:I've been on the phone with Dell and my warranty's already expired, so I'm having to jump through hoops to get some assistance, but everyone's been really nice. I will say that I've been speaking Hindi to get some additional help and that seems to have worked so far, but I'm certainly not out of the woods yet. Here's hoping Dell's feeling charitable.

As for US Airways, I still have to call and speak with a manager and complain. Unfortunately I have a harder time understanding their customer service reps. As you can see from above, I don't have an issue with dealing with people from India, and I work with desi all the time, so it's not that fact that the call center is overseas that I'm frustrated with, just the quality of the people on the phone. Dell clearly works hard at getting their reps to speak English clearly (though with an Australian accent) but I can't place the accent of the people from US Airways, understand it clearly, and worst of all: they're so quiet on the phone.

UPDATE 2:
Dell finally called me back and their offer was: you pay us $19 and we'll tell you your shit is broken, and then we'll offer to let you buy new components from us.

I declined the offer. I told them I was going to buy a laptop from someone else, and be done with this one. But to no avail. They said the $19 was a discounted price already, but I figure if it's been broken this quickly after taking possession of it, they'd help me out further. Nope.

Kudos to their customer service people though. They are very nice and professional.

FINAL UPDATE:
I got in touch with a very nice lady at US Airways. She explained that their computer system will just move people around at random whenever they:

1. Change the schedule


2. Change the plane you're on

But they don't have to tell you when either happens, so you could reserve a flight and pick your seats and then show up at the airport and find out that your time has changed AND your seats have been moved. Tough luck for you pal.

I don't understand that policy, but that's what they have.

The rep at the corporate office did make a note on my account that we should be called if this happens again, so that makes me feel better, but still, now I'm paranoid about our seating arrangements.

I've been listening to "Explosions in the Sky" this afternoon. Like two other bands I listen to: "Sigur Ros" and "Godspeed you! Black Emperor", there's not a good succinct way to describe the bad. They're a rock instrumental band, and their songs are typically over 7 minutes long, but they're not a progressive rock band. They're noisy, they're jangly, they're melodic and dynamic...

When I listen I do hear the Texas countryside, big skies, predawn hours, helpless longing, and uncrushable hope. I hear driving in your car towards a complete and unavoidable but unknowable fate, driving 6 hours to meet a girl you've only ever talked to online, and know almost nothing about, headed towards what will either be the greatest story of your life or the most crushing defeat you've faced so far in your life. You don't know which it will be, but you do know you're only one hour out and there's no turning back now, so you speed up, pushing further and faster into the darkness, hopelessly optimistic and filled with dread.

That's listening to "Explosions in the Sky".

Dear Readers, I'm addressing this to a single person. As background: I spoke about a website last week, and how it was attacking people I considered friends. It has continued and expanded its rampage. It attacked me, amongst others, and has now driven several blogs to shut down altogether. I've also had some people email me and tell me that they'd have loved to comment in my favor on my blog but don't dare because they don't want to get dragged into the mess. I've tried addressing the author of the blog directly to no avail. He continues to cravenly attack people from behind the internet, guarding his anonymity while stripping it from other people. He hides his identity while constructing vile assertions about other people, people he doesn't even really now.

I will say upfront that I'm pretty sure I don't know who you are. I don't know how that matters, because know you or not, I confess that I don't understand what motivation drives someone to spit on others so much that they stop contributing to the internet. I'd love to draw a comparison between you and Fred Phelps and say "See, you're just like him." But I can't do that. Phelps is working off his deluded readings of the Bible. He thinks he's got God on his side. Not you.

You seem to have unsatiable need to tear people apart. You seem to be mining some deep vein of hate and mistrust that leads you to piss on everything other people create, no matter how valuable it might be. You say you're merely exercising your right to free speech. You say that's not terrorizing people...but as people walk away from their blogs, and are afraid to speak out, it's clear that that's exactly what you've done.

You may not have liked what they contributed, but the internet's such a vast and wonderful place that you don't ever have to read the people who anger you. You especially don't have to attack them until they go away.

Yes, Sepia Mutiny has banned people, and yes, they, like a lot of other websites I might add, have gotten comments about Islam being an evil religion. But then, it is their website, and if they want to have a policy that includes them banning people, or tolerating comments about you think are wrong, that's their choice. It really is "their house". If that angers you, then don't go there. Don't visit. But don't be some unremittingly negative voice on the internet that only serves to tear people down. If the very thing that angered you was the the fact that they would take away from some people the ability to speak then why are you working to level the same injustice on them?

None of us profit by silencing the voices of the people we disagree with. Nobody wins when people are afraid to speak.

But I think you're still too angry to understand that. So what outcome do you seek? Did you even consider the larger ramnifications of your actions? Or did you plunge headlong into this child-like behavior because you felt like you'd been wronged one too many times and "you'd shown them"? Well, you've shown them. The blogs are shutting down, and the people that you hate have gone away. You got what you wanted. You hurt them, scared them, and angered them. You've beaten up on decent people until they've gone away. When I first wrote about this, I drew a parallel to the Kathy Sierra case and you laughed at me. You said it was a conflation. Well, here we are and Anna, and others have stopped blogging, just as Kathy Sierra did. Still a conflation? I don't think so.

Of course you will point out that all you are doing is engaging in some good-natured fun, a little bit of parody of some public figures. What you're not seeing is that your idea of "fun" is ruining people's lives. That's not fun, or humorous. It's bullying. And just because the bully thinks it's funny, doesn't make it so.

And I know you're not going to agree with any of this, and you'll attack me for this. You'll say that we all exposed ourselves to the potential of ridicule, or that we deserved it through some 'logic' you've constructed. That's your choice. You will believe whatever you choose to believe. I, however, stand by this letter and what I've said.

And I ask that you humor me two more questions:

Do you feel better? I bet you don't. I bet that all of this vitriol you've spilled has not had the effect you wanted.

And so, now what?

I've been reading "Sepia Mutiny" for a while. It's one of my favorite blogs, and I've developed an online friendship with the founder of the blog, Anna. She's a great writer, a sweet human being, and I cherish the web empire she's created.

This morning she pointed out a blog that had been created dedicated entirely to attacking her, and her friends. I vehemently support the First Amendment, and the rights of all people to say the most offensive things on Earth. When trolls drive by my website spraying their hate, I let it stand, that is how firm I believe in the right of people to speak freely.

So I was saddened for a long time by the case of Kathy Sierra. She is an author and prominent technology blogger who woke up one morning to find that some one/people had created a blog filled with sexual menace and a few death threats. It was harrowing enough that she canceled speaking engagements and withdrew into her house.

Threatening rape and death against a person is clearly not protected speech, and I continue to hope that the perpetrators get punished.

All of this brings me back to Anna.

I still support the troll's right to speak however he or she wishes to speak, but I wrestle with this question:

Are we near a point where this action is going to cross into something more dangerous?

The amount of hate, anger, and pathology that is required to go through this effort is fairly large. large enough that I worry it's going to spill over into some other actions that will physically threaten, if not Anna, then certainly others around the mysterious blogger.

Is there a time when trolling crosses the line? Clearly, that line was crossed by those attacking Kathy Sierra. What about those attacking Anna, and the others Sepia Mutiny? I don't know. I don't know if they've gone too far. On a purely legal standing, I don't think I could say they have. On a personal level, I absolutely believe they have, and my inability to reconcile the two only compounds my worry.

I want to point to the shootings at VA Tech and say "See, no one spotted the warning signs and they were CLEARLY THERE! And here we are again!" But then, I'm probably being alarmist.

So when does trolling cross the line? Can the use of free speech done by trolls fall into a similar category of unprotected speech, like libel and slander? And where do we draw that line?

[UPDATE]
Since I started this piece on Friday, the mysterious blogger has added two new entries exposing the real identity of one of the other Sepia Mutiny bloggers, and have revealed further personal details about Anna. This has only served to multiply my worry.

Congress is poised to send an update to the hate-crime laws to the White House, which would classify crimes committed because of someone's sexual orientation, gender, or gender identity a hate crime. Bush has said he's going to veto this law because it would prevent preachers from speaking out against homosexuality.

The lunacy of this statement is just painful for me.

We call it a hate crime when someone kills a black man because he's black, but we clearly allow the KKK to march through a town insulting blacks. Because they have their 1st Amendment rights. We call it a hate crime when a Muslim is beaten in the street because of his religion, or a Sikh is beaten in the street because he is mistaken for a Muslim, and yet we preserve the rights of people to use all manner of hateful speech against Muslims.

To veto this law to preserve someone's "ability to speak out against homosexuality" is really saying "We're going to ignore the fact that there are truly hate-inspired acts against homosexuals, women, and the trans-gender".

Bush is a fool for vetoing this bill.

Worse yet, the message he sends is one that the government is not going to afford the same protections to some people, that it would to others. He's re-affirming a message his party has stated before: Homosexuals, trans-genders, and women are second-class citizens.