Weight Loss?

I checked my weight on the scale and I'd dropped 4 lbs this week!

I'd just like to say: I'M AWESOME!

The thought occurred to me: "Why do we say 'I lost 4 lbs'"?

I didn't lose the weight. I'm not looking around under the couch for those 4lbs. I'm not tacking up posters on telephone poles: "Have you seen this blubber??? $25 Reward"

No, I kicked the fat to the curb. I told it to take a hike. I worked the fat off.

I don't even like the whole idea of calling it weight loss, as if it's some sort of bad thing for me to get thinner, because it's not, clearly. Certainly there are people like Posh Spice, Amy Winehouse, etc that are just way too thin, and if they did drop a few more pounds, we could call that a loss...well I guess if Posh just kept dropping till she vanished, it could be a good thing...but I digress.

I don't want to call it weight loss any more. But I don't like any of the alternatives either:

• Getting healthy


• Slimming down


• Toning my figure

Those all sound like I should be sharing triscuits on the back veranda with the Golden Girls and Richard Simmons.

There are others I don't like either:

• Body sculpting


• Bulking up

Too meathead-ish.

I'm afraid that if I start using those terms, I'll end up with Tony Little and selling juicers on TNT at 3am.

I want a more manly and modern term for what I'm doing:

• Thinning up
• Spartanizing
• Fat Destroying
• Body Refactoring

Yeah, I don't know.

All I know is that this week, I parted ways with 4 more lbs of fat, and I feel great.