June 2008 Archives

I'm having trouble crossing that 300lb mark, but I'm officially down 40lbs now. I've lost 12% of my gross body weight so far. That's huge. I'm still huge, but not as huge...

I'm still sticking with Atkins, because it's working. And please note that when I say Atkins I don't mean that I'm eating bacon by the ton. This is more of a vegetables and meats thing. Today I had meatloaf (breadcrumb free), green beans, red leaf lettuce salad from our garden, and water. I'm stuffed, and I feel great.

The one thing that's amused me so far is how great I feel at places like the pool, even though I'm fat, I'm not as ashamed to take off my shirt. From the outside that's got to look funny, right? "Why does that fat man look so happy to take his shirt off?" But when you consider it, and I do, I feel great about losing 40lbs.

My goal is to hit 215lbs, or a total loss of 37%. I don't know if I'll get below 215, but I've given myself two years to find out. One thing, however, I promise I won't subject you to any shirt off before and after pictures.

Saw this on another blog and wanted to share it with both my readers.

McCain has charged $500,000 of campaign expenses on his American Express Platinum card. Instead of selling some of his wife's stock to pay off the bill they're carrying the balance forward.

I find it highly ironic that McCain holds himself up as different from Bush yet is personally pursuing the same kind of fiscal policy Bush has had for the whole nation these past 8 years. How can we trust that he's not going to have the same kind of "We'll pay it off later" mentality that's gotten us so deep in the hole so far when he thinks it's fine to be that with his own money?

Heather and I just watched "Maxed Out" on Sunday and it showed how closely aligned the credit card companies are with the politicians, and how it's helped to create a culture where MBNA can help rewrite the bankruptcy laws to their benefit and no one seems to bat an eye. And this situation is no different. American Express is offering them the credit cards with a 0% interest rate. That's extremely generous, and so maybe it makes a little bit of sense to utilize the cards for financing (in his mind) because he believes he's doing the right thing. But it is still reckless and crazy behavior in my mind, and it amounts to $500,000 in uncontrolled campaign contributions from a major American credit card company. And it's not the behavior of a man who promises to clean up the budget in Washington and balance the books. This is more of the same, and it's disgusting.

In the meantime, Obama is not financing his campaign expenses through credit cards, and has managed to save money for his daughter's college fund to the tune of $250,000.

The amazing thing is that the Republicans are so quick to call Obama an elitist, to imply that he somehow is getting a free pass, and that he's not in touch with the common man. Do you think that McCain, living off of his wife's fortunes and carrying around a limitless credit card with no APR feels the pain of the average American, or the man who's carefully planning and saving for the future?

Who's the real elitist here?

If I were Ryan Reynolds I would absolutely have offered a very public, open, and sincere apology to every woman I've ever known, especially Alanis Morissette, whose new album "Flavors of Entanglement" just came out this week. And then I'd hide from everyone for a while.

Her album is well, stark. She's always been known for her intensely personal lyrics, and this album does not belie that reputation. If anything, this is a return to that mode, which she moved away from a bit on her last album. It shouldn't come as a surprise to her fans that she's got a lot of material to pull from. It's been four years since her last album, and she's gone through a lot of personal upheaval in that time. She was in a happy relationship with actor Reynolds, got engaged, and then broke up after three years. Not long after they split, he proposed to actress Scarlett Johansson. It is within that context Alanis has released her new album.

She's always mined from her past relationships and personal issues for her albums, and with "Flavors of Entanglement" she has a lot to say, and she's not holding back. With song titles like "Not as We", "Incomplete", and "Versions of Violence" and lyrics like the following:

These versions of violence Sometimes subtle sometimes clear And the ones that go unnoticed Still leave their mark once disappeared

This labeling
This pointing
This sensitive's unraveling
This Sting I've been ignoring
I feel it way down way down

(From "Versions of Violence")

Or

Something so benign for me construed as cruelty
Such a difference between who I am and who you see

Conclusions you come to of me routinely incorrect
I don't know who you're talking to with such fucking disrespect

This shit's making me crazy
The way you nullify what's in my head
You say one thing do another
And argue that's not what you did
Your way's making me mental
How you filter as skewed interpret
I swear you won't be happy til
I am bound in a straight jacket

(From "Straitjacket")

And

"I am someone easy to leave"
"Even easier to forget"
a voice, if inaccurate
Again: "I'm the one they all run from"
diatribes of clouded sun
someone help me find the pause button

(From "Tapes")

This feels like her most cathartic album since "Jagged Little Pill" which raged and roared in a way nobody expected.

The difference this time is that the music accompanying her lyrics is near top-notch. "Jagged Little Pill" sold on the basis of Alanis' blisteringly personal lyrics and her commitment to being as honest and open about her anger at everyone's failures. It was not the music that carried that album. For this album however she collaborated with Guy Sigsworth who has previously produced music for Björk, Britney Spears, Madonna. He is also the second half of the band Frou Frou, who I also personally enjoy.

Sigsworth's production, like his work with Frou Frou, is full of electronic beats, ambient noise, and loops, but with this album he also employs big guitars, and the occasional world music elements. What's nice is that it is neither angular or hard to swallow. His work with pop stars in the past shows they trust him to make create danceable music. This album shows their trust is not misplaced. He clearly has the chops to craft accessible music, and Alanis was smart to work with him.

With "Flavors of Entanglement" the music is equal partner with Alanis. It matches her in volume and intensity when it needs to, and stays out of her way when it should. Most interesting though is that even when the subject matter is darkly personal, the music usually manages to maintain a pop flavor, similar to Kelly Clarkson's last album My December, which was both danceable and personal. There are more intimate songs that are typically just Alanis and a single instrument, but there are fewer songs like that on this album.

Given this change in direction, I am sure some people will complain that it is too poppy, or that it sounds too much like Frou Frou or Britney Spears. I honestly don't view this as a bad thing. Sigsworth has not changed the intensity with which Alanis sings, or how rawly she exposes herself. He's only dressed it differently. If anything, this make the music accessible for a younger group of listeners who have listened to Clarkson, Avril Lavigne, and Nelly Furtado, but have no idea who they've been borrowing from all this time.

However, don't let me give you the impression that this album is all sturm and drang. There are lighter moments on the album, like "Giggling Again For No Reason", which has a sweet lemon and summertime feel to it. Clearly her time with Reynolds, and the afterwards, haven't been all bad. She's stated in interviews that she's had a lot of rock bottom moments and hasn't always bounced back from them, but this album is the "biggest bounce".

And that's probably the most charming aspect of the album. It explores the darkness and lightness of the break-up. In that after time when you are free you feel so starkly alone and completely free. It is both terrifying and liberating. You want to collapse, you want to dance, you want to weep in the face of it all and laugh in delirium. And this album condenses all of that into about 46 minutes of music.

46 minutes of some of the most open, honest and raw music. But it never loses its appeal or power, even on subsequent listens. And because of its accessibility and the context with which it's been released, I think it will get some substantial airplay. Which bring me back to Reynolds. He's bound to get some additional scrutiny from friends, family, and fiancee. The gossip media's already buzzing with questions and innuendo about how much of the album is about him, and the timing of the album's release.

All the while Alanis gets to enjoy the positive album reviews, she coyly deflects this scrutiny, and demurely says she's happy for Reynolds.

Honestly, she probably is. As this album shows, she's gone through hell and come back (again), ready to sing, ready to dance, and ready to move on.

You can buy Flavors Of Entanglement here.

Just a gripe...I put my iTunes library onto an external HD to free up space on my laptop and I've had nothing but trouble ever since. It keeps losing music that I've purchased or added recently. I'm actually getting ready to go through and remove everything from the library period and add things back as I want to listen them.

I'm so frustrated.

Heather and I got the kids 4GB iPod Nanos for Christmas so they could listen to their music on their little stereos and we could share music with them, and they've got a fair amount of kids music on it, like Charlie and Lola, Disney Princess Tea Party, and so on, but sometimes I find myself blurring the line of kids music and putting on some music that's not distinctly for children. I usually think I have good reason, like a lot of stuff from Barenaked Ladies has practically done double duty since they started, and the same goes for They Might Be Giants, but I caught myself putting R.E.M. on their iPods today.

It was "Shiny Happy People", but still...I wonder if I'm blurring the line a little too much.

Honestly I'm not worried about it as long as they like it, but if someone sees me loading "Satan Says Dance" from Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, slap me.

It should be a bad day, or at least, I should feel more pissed off, but frankly I'm just mellow. Maybe it's just a function of getting older, or getting thinner...

At mid-day I was prepping dinner for tomorrow and when I dropped the pot roast in the pan hot olive oil shot out and burned me. I've got a raised red welt the size and shape of a duck's webbed foot on my left arm.

I took care of that and then this evening I jumped in the pool and forgot that I had my RAZR in my pocket. It's dead. I can try to take it apart and let it dry out, but I don't know if I'm going to have any luck. I have to wait until October before I can get a new phone as part of my plan or I can pay out of pocket.

And still, I'm not really upset. I don't know why. I'm just not. I'm actually kind of hoping the welt on my arm turns into some kind of gnarly scar I can show off.

"Yup, I got this one when I grabbed the tail pipe of that Harley the Pagan was driving to rescue the baby he was kidnapping. He was high on meth and thought I was the avenging angel of the Lord, but he still put up a hell of a fight before he gave that little girl back. He came away with some broken ribs and a broken nose. I only came away with this scar."

Yeah, good times.

Straight out of Baghdad, the Washington D.C. police have set up checkpoints into a particular neighborhood saying the seven people murdered in one day there constitutes an emergancy. It's a tragedy, to be certain, but I find the argument specious, and I'm disgusted that the police are just setting up roadblocks to stop people from traveling though the area.

The police chief on CNN said that unless you live there, are visiting someone, or attending a community event you will not be allowed into the neighborhood. Because of those exemptions the police will argue that they're not blocking someone's right to assemble, but truly, if a thousand protesters from the NRA showed up there tomorrow, would they let them in and allow them to hold a rally on the corner? Probably not. Alright, I know that's not a great example. How about this instead? We all have a protection from unreasonable search and seizure. Doesn't this violate that? Driving through the neighborhood doesn't constitute just cause for stopping my vehicle, but now I'm required to stop and allow the police to at least look into the cabin without any protection. What if a petty thief is stopped and arrested because of something he's got in his backseat? Like the head of the statue at the Lincoln Memorial? Would that arrest be legal? Probably not, which wastes our time and money.

Also, let's consider that this does nothing but deflect the crime into other neighborhoods. Instead of the Trinidad neighborhood the crime will move elsewhere, and more people will get hurt, all the while police forces are diverted into useless and probably unconstitutional searches of mostly innocent people.

Perhaps the police should offer better incentive for people to cooperate with them. Perhaps we should stop locking up people for minor drug offenses, and stop prosecuting people for selling drugs, end the war on drugs altogether. Probably a good portion of these people were casualties in that war.

I don't like it when people die, especially under these circumstances. I hate even more when the police start stripping those left behind of their dignity and rights in the name of "Doing Something". "Doing Something" should mean being effectual, and honest, and actually making a positive change. Not this crap.

You can watch the CNN story here.

First we had Ann Coulter, ANN COULTER, endorsing Hillary Clinton. I practically fell out of my chair for that one. But now I came across this clip of Rupert Murdoch, the man who owns FoxNews, all but endorsing Obama for the presidency.

Watch the whole clip. Here it is for your viewing pleasure:

All I can say is "WOW".

About a month ago my kids told me that they wanted to go fishing with me, which is interesting because I've never been fishing, and I've never expressed an interest in fishing, but they were adamant, so we talked about it, and I promised them I would do it, as long as they started sleeping in their own beds. My children are the world champion co-sleepers. They will find a bed with someone in it and climb in. It could be the bogey man himself sleeping over, and they're in his bed.

I am the kind of guy that does a lot of research on everything, especially new things. Before I start a new project or hobby I'll read books, I'll go on the internet, I'll talk to everyone I can. The more information I can acquire on something the more comfortable I feel doing it. I think I've pretty much been this way my whole life. I've been banned from remodeling parts of the house because I'm spending more time planning and reading then the actual execution should take.

This time shouldn't be any different in my mind. I'm a rank amateur, and I need some guidance. So I called some local shops and asked the people on the phone to gauge who I should see in person. I settled on going to the BassPro Megastore in Harrisburg, not only because the guys on the phone were nice, but also because it's a very cool store.

On Wednesday I traveled there to talk to someone in person.

The guy I ended up talking to, Jim, was awesome. He was excited, he was enthusiastic, he wasn't condescending. He was very patient, and answered all of my questions, even the second time I asked them. He talked to the kids, who were with me, and I felt great after talking to him. That was, until I asked:

"So, do they have like a book where I can read about fishing and learn something about it."
Jim just looked at me like I'd asked him if I could hook a turkey.
"You know, something that will identify the fish and give me some pointers."
"Well..." he paused for a minute.
"I mean, if you don't..."
"Well when you register for your license you'll get a guide from the State about fish identification and things like that."
"Oh that'll be great! Exactly what I need"
"But really, you don't need a book." He leaned in closer to me and lowered his voice just a notch. "Just go out there and give it a try."

I thought about that for a while and considered what Jim had to say. The words turned over and over in my head for a while, and I kept playing with them like a loose tooth. Just go out and try it? I can't do that can I?

Why not? I am, I decided. I'm going to get my rod and supplies before the kids get theirs, and I'll going to teach myself the best I can so I'm ready for them when they go out with me. I'm excited and nervous, but then, it's only fishing, and really, I'm going to be the only one out there, so if I make a total fool of myself, I'm okay with that.

And to be honest, if most of the seasoned vets are as nice and knowledgeable as Jim, I'm going to be fine.

But I will point out one website that Google served up to me one day out of the blue. TakeMeFishing.org has got to be the greatest resource I've ever seen for beginning a new hobby. It's a great site, and before I talked to Jim, I'd pretty much picked the site clean.

What can I say? Some habits die hard.

I'm watching the NBA Finals and I've got to ask: Who in the hell picked James Taylor as the guy to sing the National Anthem? It's not that he flubbed it, but it was a goddamn lullaby! Was Mr. Rogers not available? Kenny Loggins still working on his next album of kids music?

They should have picked someone who would have ripped the roof off.

I weighed myself yesterday and I've lost thirty pounds now on my diet. It didn't really sink in how much that is until this morning when I got dressed to go into Philadelphia. The clothes that I haven't worn in over a month were suddenly much looser. I buttoned up my shirt and spun around for a minute with my arms outstretched. I felt like...Cary Grant, even though I don't look anywhere near what he looked like. I still felt very stylish and fit.

I thought to myself "Ten more pounds to go." I've promised myself that once I'm below three hundred pounds for two days in a row I'm going to have a party, with all I can eat steak. I'm going to cut loose, but it's still going to be diet-friendly.

However, I have to keep reminding myself that I can't rush this. This is not a race. Well, scratch that. It is a race, just not a sprint. It's a race against that moment when the doctor looks at me and says "You've ignored the warning signs for too long and you have diabetes." or "You're not going to live past 40 years old." But this is about changing myself in more ways than just my appearance. This is about being a better husband and a better father. This is about setting the example for my kids that taking care of my health is just as important as working hard at my job and spending time with them. It's easy to get distracted in the rush of parenting and give in to bad behaviors. I've done it, and I see my friends do it. It's hard to cook the right things for yourself and your family. Just throw some mac and cheese on the stove and cook some hot dogs and we'll eat that. And then we'll go get ice cream because it's the only time we can get together as a family.

I'm fighting against that. I'm showing my kids that I'm fighting against that. I got myself a bike and I ride with them almost every night. I'm teaching my kids how to jump rope. We play on the trampoline, we go swimming, we go walk on the golf course at dusk and look for lost balls. I'm trying to turn our family time together into something other than dessert and watching TV. Though I do still take them out for Rita's once in a while.

Once I've hit my intermediate goal I'll reevaluate what the next milestone will be and what my reward will be for hitting it.

But truly, between the clothes fitting better, feeling better, having more energy, and spending time with my family, what I'm doing to lose the weight is just as rewarding as the treats I promise myself along the way.