Recently in Blogs Category

I went on vacation last week and at the start of the vacation I got a horoscope that read "The next 30 days will be an adventure." That's always advantageous when you're on vacation, I guess, and so I was excited. And it's come true. In spades.

When I left for vacation I was considering a change in career. I've been kind of burned out on programming and computers in general, and then something cool happened that I can't share fully yet, but someone called me about an opportunity and just that brief contact rekindled a lot of feelings I hadn't had in a while. I wish I could share more, but I can't. Not yet anyway.

So while that was playing out, I had a blast in Ocean City. We went swimming, I rode the tilt-a-whirl with my kids and niece until I was certain I was going to hurl, ate myself silly, totally fell off my diet (and still lost weight! French Fries FTW!), and just had a wonderful time.

Came back, found out that that opportunity that rekindled my interest wasn't going to happen, and was sad, but still happy because I felt renewed.

I picked up with my diet and I lost even more weight, coming in below 300lbs for the first time in forever. I finally am at the point where I need to start shopping for more clothes.

Then I get a call and I'm offered the position of coach for my kids' soccer team and accept. I'm nervous as all get out and excited about the opportunity and can't wait, so I've been working on getting myself ready for that, and then yesterday I got a phone call.

The "someone" has a new opportunity and wants to talk to me.

It's only been 15 days and it's been a whirlwind already. I can't wait to see if it continues.

Life is great.

My wife and I have been talking about expenses and what we can cut and where to save money. As things are getting more expensive we're starting to worry more and more. Add to that the nature of the consulting business I'm in and how unpredictable it can be, it adds to a lot of worry for both of us.

I'm feeling very listless and restless today, anxious and unable to concentrate. I don't quite know where to turn for some sort of relief or answer, I just know that I'm overwhelmed today with my own internal burdens.

We're going on vacation in two weeks and I don't feel like I should, because I don't know that things will be in order when I get back, and I really hate that feeling. It's the hazy nature of the future that's biting at me today, a thousand nagging doubts buzzing around my head like gnats, and I've had enough.

And honestly, we're doing alright economically. We don't carry a big credit card debt, I only have one car payment, and our mortgage is manageable, but still, today, on an otherwise pretty summer day, I'm sitting in the near dark of my living room feeling like I should go get a second job.

It should be a bad day, or at least, I should feel more pissed off, but frankly I'm just mellow. Maybe it's just a function of getting older, or getting thinner...

At mid-day I was prepping dinner for tomorrow and when I dropped the pot roast in the pan hot olive oil shot out and burned me. I've got a raised red welt the size and shape of a duck's webbed foot on my left arm.

I took care of that and then this evening I jumped in the pool and forgot that I had my RAZR in my pocket. It's dead. I can try to take it apart and let it dry out, but I don't know if I'm going to have any luck. I have to wait until October before I can get a new phone as part of my plan or I can pay out of pocket.

And still, I'm not really upset. I don't know why. I'm just not. I'm actually kind of hoping the welt on my arm turns into some kind of gnarly scar I can show off.

"Yup, I got this one when I grabbed the tail pipe of that Harley the Pagan was driving to rescue the baby he was kidnapping. He was high on meth and thought I was the avenging angel of the Lord, but he still put up a hell of a fight before he gave that little girl back. He came away with some broken ribs and a broken nose. I only came away with this scar."

Yeah, good times.

I'm watching the NBA Finals and I've got to ask: Who in the hell picked James Taylor as the guy to sing the National Anthem? It's not that he flubbed it, but it was a goddamn lullaby! Was Mr. Rogers not available? Kenny Loggins still working on his next album of kids music?

They should have picked someone who would have ripped the roof off.

In one of the funnier stories I've read this week, two men got into an argument about a boot put on a van and ended up tasering each other. I think it's kind of nice when idiots get together and inflict pain on each other, just so long as the rest of us aren't affected.

I finally fixed my blog so that comments and publishing is working again. Of course I had to strip out all of the customization that I'd did, but I'd rather be having a dialogue with you. Actually posts to follow.

I've been away and not blogging for a while, but not because I hate you. In fact, I love you guys. But I've been on two projects that are both coming to a close soon, but they've consume all of my time. In fact, too much time, as my kids are prone to tell me every day. I like that I have more responsibility at work, and I'm happy with what I'm doing, but it doesn't leave a lot for blogging.

However, I have a plan. I've got a list of topics that I'm working on to start blogging. I want to get back out here and start writing about some of the things that are important to me. So, please accept my apologies for ignoring you and I hope you're willing to come back and read what I've got to read.

Thx.

One day, when I was a gawky fumbling young man of 15, I was riding in the backseat of a car with my good friend Jeff and other of his friends. Sadly I don't remember who it was, so I shall name him Leo...because I can dammit!

Leo's mom and dad picked us up at HersheyPark after a long day of burping, farting, rollercoasters, and staring at girls. I was physically tired, but I was mental electric, and "Walk on the Wild Side" came on the radio. Leo's dad turned the song up a little bit and looked at his wife sideways for a second. There was something between them and this song. I looked over at my friends. Jeff and Leo were talking, so I sat in silence, and listened to the song. And I heard it. The line: "She never lost her head, even when she was giving head".

Explicit visions danced in my head. My body suddenly ached. Was I the only one who heard that? When did that line sneak into the song? Was it always there?

My hand involuntarily whipped out and smacked Jeff across the chest, but he didn't pay any attention to me. He kept talking to Leo. I looked forward for a second and saw Leo's mom in the vanity mirror of her sun visor. She was suddenly prettier, and for a second, she and I looked at each other. A subtle smile darted across her face and vanished.

She knew I'd heard the line, and that I'd understood it. More importantly, she let me know she'd heard the line, and that she understood it. REALLY UNDERSTOOD IT And she wasn't freaked out by the notion. In my head she was going to go home that night and do it to her husband. Husbands and wives did that!

And as if to confirm it, she reached over and grabbed her husband's hand.

I don't remember the rest of the car ride home. Instead I basked in the glow of my new knowledge.

My step-dad got his hands on some old camping magazines, and flipping through them we found the following ad:

I don't know about you, but I'm interested in the Midget and the Duchess. I'd like to know how that one worked out.

Heather and I were watching an ABC news piece about the growing number of Jackass imitators that are posting clips of themselves getting hurt while trying bigger and dumber stunts. Albert Nerenberg, director of the movie 'Stupidity' about such phenomenon said it's going to get more and more dangerous and people are going to die doing these stunts.

I'm not really unhappy about this, because the way I figure it means my daughter's a lot less likely to marry one of these knucklehead's children. They're excusing themselves from the gene pool, and nothing could make me happier.

Sorry for the absence after my post about why I don't do drugs. I was trying to figure out how to upgrade to MT 4.0.

It was a disaster, and I finally had to just erase everything and reinstall. Luckily I'd saved all my old posts and backed up my DB for this occasion.

So I'm back bitches!

On that note, I'd like to ask you:
Don't you think they should have ice cream turds? Little chocolate turds, coffee turds, maybe hazelnut turds, and...ooo pistachio turds, for those days you drank too much grape juice. They could stick in some candy corn, other bits of candy "interest".

I foresee a burgeoning industry of poo-styled ice cream ahead.

I've never done drugs. I've never smoked a spliff, snorted a line, chased a dragon, huffed, whatever. It's not something I'm boastful about, it's all about personal choices. I believe that people should have the ability to bend and spindle their own consciousness as they see fit. I just didn't see the need.

I would get into debates about this in college. My friends who did drugs would say "Man when you do drugs you think about all sorts of crazy things like 'What if this was all a big lake?'" (actual quote). My response was always "Because I don't need drugs to think up things like that. They just occur to me naturally."

Case in point, the other day on CNN they were discussing knock-off purses, and John Roberts and Kiran Chetry were picking up the different styles, looking at the purses, stroking them, sniffing them, and a thought ran through my head:

"A purse is a giant fashion vagina".

A purse is a vagina women carry around with them to put their stuff in.

Yes, I really did think that.

And then...then..my mind started coming up with tangents for that thought:

• That would explain why men don't like holding purses. They don't want to be seen holding a fashion vagina


• Watch out! These vaginas DO have teeth.


• What does this say about women that have more than one purse? That they wish to have many vaginas? That they wish to spruce theirs up?


• What about the women who don't carry purses?


• Does that mean a wallet is a money cock and that's why men seek to make them as thick as possible? Isn't everything on a man a cock? His tie points at his cock, his jacket sweeps open at the waist like curtains at the theatre.


• When did I turn into Dr. Freud?

And on and on.

See, that's why I don't take drugs. My brain's on a freaky-deaky acid trip ALL the time.

Dear China,
Thanks for all of the swell products you've made through the last few years on the cheap. I don't want you to think we don't appreciate all you've done, but this year, we're going to have to stop buying anything Chinese-made.

Problems started early this year when we fed the family dog the food tainted with melamine. He died. My son was devastated most of all. So we broke down and bought him some new Thomas the Tank Engine toys to ease his heartache. Oops! He's in the hospital with serious lead poisoning. We're hoping he makes it.

Of course, he's in better spirits (when he's awake and lucid and not vomiting) because his sister's right next to him with intestinal problems from the magnets that broke off her Barbie dolls that she swallowed. The doctors mentioned that they might be able to put in a partially artificial intenstine from, where else?, China! We're dubious.

Especially since last week, on his way to the hospital to visit his grandchildren my father-in-laws truck wrecked because the tires on it were made in China and the tread separated.

Anyway, that really was the last straw. We've decided that if our kids make it through okay and live to see another day, we'll give them good safe toys like air rifles.

Factor in the collapse of that bridge under construction and the fire at the tallest building in Shanghai, and we're pretty clear we can't trust a damn thing you make anymore.

All of that considered, best of luck to you and yours.

I'm sitting in my car right now working on the laptop and waiting for my wristband to pick up my copy of the last Harry Potter book. Yes it's 6am. No, there's no one else here, but I am, and I'm okay letting my freak flag fly this way.

Anyway, it's a gorgeous morning and I'm out in the fresh air.

I know I said I was waiting until Friday, and I was cutting off all ties to the internet so the book wouldn't be spoiled for me, but I couldn't resist. The temptation was too great. So I might as well jump on the bandwagon and present these spoilers. Be warned, there's some pretty intense stuff here, so don't look unless you really want to know....

I am going dark this weekend. I will not connect to the internet. I will not listen to the radio. I will not watch TV. I will turn off all forms of communication with the outside world and sequester myself in my house. Why?

Because on Friday night I pickup my copy of the final Harry Potter book and I dare not risk some spoiling motherf***er ruining the ending for me.

Oh you may laugh, but leaked copies of the book are already showing up on BitTorrent networks as we speak.

The last thing I need is for some tempting news story to roll across my RSS reader like

"Bill Gates and Steve Jobs photographed in South Beach holding hands; Office 2007 for Mac released early"

And I'm certainly not going to let some shitard on TV or the radio try to spoil the ending for me like Rosie O'Donnell did with "Fight Club". Sorry Andy, for bringing up your GF and all, but what she did was uncalled for.

So, email me all you want. Email me about a million bucks lying on the street free for the taking. Call me, text me, do whatever the hell you want. I won't respond. This weekend, I don't exist.

(And so help me God, if I so much as see a skywriter or airplane pulling a streamer near my house I will shoot it out of the sky, and I will unleash the dogs of war on anybody with a megaphone within a mile of my house, no questions asked.)

Owen: "I spy with my little eye something that is....yellow"
Me: "Is it your truck?"
Owen: "No"
Me: "Is it a banana?"
Owen: <giggling> "No"
Me: "Uhm, is it that flower over there?"
Owen: <laughing> "No Daddy! It's your teeth!"

The FBI announced this week that they believe Brian Douglas Wells was in on the bank robbery that eventually ended with him blowing up.

I can't say I'm totally surprised. The elements of the case were just so bizarre that it spoke of something cooked up over beers between friends:

"You know what would be a perfect crime?????"

Unfortunately for him, it wasn't the perfect crime.

I went and saw Harry Potter last night. My suspicions were confirmed. The critics were confused and walked into Die Hard 8 when they thought they were reviewing Harry Potter.

"Hrm, he sure has grown. Look, more of the same stuff. Oh well".

Harry Potter was awesome, and we loved it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to open the next door on my Harry Potter Advent Calendar.

When I drove into work this morning I listened to Kenneth Turan's review of "Order of the Phoenix", the new Harry Potter movie coming out. It seemed to me that he wasn't quite sure what movie he was reviewing because he says:

"It's a cog in a brisk, well-oiled machine, the fifth in a seven-film series, and it unfolds like a chapter in the world's longest-running serial."

Well...DUH! That's exactly what it is.

He goes on to complain:

"Phoenix may be thinned down from the series' longest book, but it can't shake an episodic feeling that makes it difficult to develop momentum. Though many of its elements are strong, it finally can't transcend being a way station in an epic journey — a journey whose cinematic conclusion is several years in the future."

I wrote it off as one bad review, and forgot about it, until I read this review.

" "Order of the Phoenix" sticks safely and at times monotonously to the Potter formula: Show a bit of Harry's drab summer among his heartless Muggle relations, branch off into a magical interlude, then land him back at Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft, where the same old issues resurface — classmate rivalry, teacher trouble, and a slow build toward another showdown with Voldemort."

Riiiiiggghhhhttttt. Isn't that what the book is? Isn't that what the movie should portray? Perhaps they were expecting "Brokeback Hogwarts":

"The stunning visuals provide a backdrop to the sweeping love story between Hagrid and Harry. This "beauty and the beast" reimagining of Harry Potter has it all. Romance, passion, leather. This is the real magic we have been missing..."

This is not a fairy tale ripe for interpretation, or reinvention. The critics seem dismayed that the director hasn't taken any steps away from the book when that's what the fans are clamoring for.

The AP review goes on to comment:

"Familiarity is not quite breeding contempt for Harry and his friends and enemies. But it's starting to breed indifference"

Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and Borders have all reported that more orders have been placed for the final Harry Potter book than any other in their history. Bookstores are staying open until 3am to sell the book to massive crowds. The movie's already selling out showings around the world. That doesn't sound like indifference to me.

I saw the headline "Smoking could kill 1 billion this century" and my first thought was "Well at least somebody's doing something about global overcrowding".

Yeah, I'll be the one handing out the pitchforks by the front door.

You'll have to forgive me, I worked 17 hours yesterday, getting only 3 hours of sleep total...so this is funnier to me than to you, and I know it already. But here goes anyway:

1. I'm listening to the Pixies right now. I heart the Pixies. Yes, I used heart. So sue me. It's true.

2. I've drank so much coffee today (see above about not sleeping) that my core temperature is above boiling. It's pure joe in my veins now, and if I get one more cup in, I think I'll go supernova.

3. It's Friday! And that alone is worth dancing for.

The disembarking from the Amtrak is an ascension into the living, if you could call a ride on a SEPTA train that. Up two flights of stairs from the train to SEPTA, and up two more flights of stairs to street level a stop later, it feels as if you are rising to some "other"-ness. The climbing into 30th Street Station can take my breath away when I remember to look up at the towering ceiling when I climb the stairs. It is a monument to movement and industry, celebrating the hard-working rushing through on their commute. It is the perfect protestant cathedral.

Sometimes I plug into my iPod and turn on Peter Gabriel while I join the streams of people:
"The time I like is the rush hour, 'cause I like the rush. The pushing of the people, I like it all so much. Such a nice emotion, do not know where it goes. I move with the movement, and...I have the touch"

Indeed, I do have the touch, but only because I tap into the electricity pulsing through the city. It charges me; it recharges me. My heart races and my mind crackles.

The following three terms are the three least-sexiest terms a man can use to describe a woman's behind:

3. Pooper
2. Dumper
1. Turd-cutter

I hearby declare that any man heard using such a term around me while be summarily dragged behind the building and shot, with no chance for appeal.

Thank you.

All the geeks are talking about Safari for Windows (Apple's web browser, available until this week only on Macs). I downloaded it the day it became available because I'm slowly becoming Mac Fanboy. They suck you in with that iPod and then the iPhone and it's only a matter of time before you're hanging out at their Genuis Bar sipping the Kool-Aid and sneering at the fools in the suits lugging around their Dell laptops...wait, where was I?

Oh right, the Safari Beta.

I'm not crazy about it. The benchmarks Apple put out say it's faster than IE, which I don't necessarily see. I've been trying it in a bunch of different formats and it seems to be middle-of-the-road on performance. Most things work like I'd expect, with probably the exception of the space bar not submitting buttons like it does in Firefox and IE. While that might not be a big deal for you and yours, I do a lot of my work with keyboard shortcuts and I'm wired to think of the space bar as submitting forms, so it frustrates me.

One thing that a lot of people have been talking about is the rendering of fonts. My experience is that you either love how Apple does fonts or you don't. There's no middle-ground, and Safari's the same way. The fonts in Safari on Windows looks close to how they do on a Mac, which I like. You might not. If you don't, that's okay too. Nobody's forcing this browser on you. Go use Opera or Firefox of IE. They're all fine browsers.

Other things I've noted. I tried to download a bunch of pictures from http://thefunniest.info yesterday and Safari told me that it had downloaded the pictures but I'll be damned if I can find them. Anywhere...

There's also some talk about how some security experts have found a series of zero-day bugs and exploits in Safari. Really folks, that's not a surprise. It is a public beta, after all. That means there's going to be bugs, like the pictures downloading, and security holes. Also, Mac's and Windows are different under the covers, it's not entirely surprising to to me that some security practices that should have been followed on Windows were not. I'm sure it will get fixed.

Another interesting thing I've noted is that some sites have turned off a bunch of JavaScript functionality (notably GMail) for the Safari browser which means some extra hoops to jump through. I'm honestly suprised by this, as Safari is the built-in browser on Macs and Apple's market share is growing. I don't know all of the specifics because I don't normally target the Safari browser when programming. Maybe Safari lags the other browsers in functionality. Speaking of which, I'd love to see if there is a difference between the Mac and Windows version as far as rendering is concerned. Could I use the Windows version to develop against and be certain that works on Safari for Windows will work the same on Macs? Can anyone point me to a breakdown?

Anyway. I don't know that Safari will become my browser all the time. Given no great increase in speed, or increase in functionality, I don't see a need to jump from Firefox. Maybe the next rev will deliver more, but I'm certainly going to keep playing with it.

I see a lot of the same TV shows my kids do, so I know what they're watching. I have some observations which are completely and utterly politically incorrect, but if I keep them to myself I will burst.

• Is Little Einsteins racist? It only has one black character AND they make him sit on the back on the rocket ship. Even worse, the only times I've ever seen them give him a leadership role: when they're in Africa! What? The black man's not good to have around until then?
• Max & Ruby's parents need to be hauled before a judge. These irresponsible jerks have left a toddler in the care of a 7-year-old girl who suffers to care for him while struggling to have her own normal childhood. Once in a while their grandmother shows up, but I think she's drunk most of the time.
• Also on the docket for a day in Family Court: Maisy's parents. Where the hell are they at? Maisy's made friends with a bunch of semi-vocal losers who pee in her sandbox, eat all her food, and take all her money.
• The Wiggles...5 men, one dog, no real women to speak of (puh-leeze, Dorothy does not count) Is it really Wiggles Island, or is it Fire Island?

I know there's been a lot of blogviating about Paris Hilton and how because she is rich and powerful she got out of prison, but I'd like to point out that it's because she's rich, powerful, and white. Lil' Kim was incarcerated in Philadelphia not long ago and did all of her time.

I realize that Kim's wealth and power does not approach that of the Hiltons, and Philadelphia is a very different place than LA (understatement of the year on my blog) but still. It's not just wealth that made the difference here.

The not so funny piece of all of this is that the sheriff in LA county is probably an elected position, like the majority of the US, and he's probably secured his single largest contributor for the next election, and by the time it occurs, most people will have forgotten Paris' temporary release, meaning the sheriff has played the justice system for his own future political gain, while truly innocent people continue to suffer in jail, while non-violent drug offenders busted for personal possession rot in jail, Lee Baca plays the emotions of one rich family for more campaign dollars.

I have an ant nest under the one corner of my garage which I've been doing battle with. A couple different chemicals haven't seemed to have made much difference, so at wit's end I looked up some organic remedies and saw someone mention turmeric.

I have a ton of stuff in the house because I cook Indian food, so I thought, why not give it try? Sure enough, ants hate the stuff. I sprinkled it around the entrance to the nest and within minutes there was a traffic jam of ants on both sides of the turmeric unable (or unwilling) to cross.

I'm not viewing this as a permanent solution, because I'm sure the ants will dig a new way out, but it was nice to torment them...the jerks.

My opinion of organ donation has always followed that of George Carlin:
I'm not doing it because when I get into an accident I don't want the paramedics viewing me as a collection of spare parts to be harvested.

But in the last few years, especially since I've gotten married to a diabetic and had kids, I've had a nagging notion that I need to become a donor. I've usually pushed away the idea because it hasn't been time to renew my license, I don't have the time, it's not that important, I can do it later, etc, etc

Then yesterday I heard a story on the BBC World Report about the Dutch show that will involve a terminally ill woman choosing someone on TV to give her kidney to. I was immediately appalled by the idea, and I cheered when the BBC reporter challenged the producer of the show about why they were doing this: (and I'm paraphrasing here)

"The man who founded this channel died at a young age waiting for a kidney and we wanted to raise awareness about the lack of donors".

"Well couldn't you just make a documentary about that story?"

"Oh no! No one would watch the documentary. At least this is getting people's attentions."

And he was right. It got my attention. It shoved the notion straight into the center of my head.

Then tonight I read the story on Sepia Mutiny about an Indian-American who is dying from leukemia and needs a bone marrow transplant. More attention to the need for donors.

Again, it's been pushed to the forefront of my head. Alright, alright, I thought. I'll make a note to check the box when it's time to renew my license.

Sorting through today's mail, the registration for my new driver's license has arrived.

So the time is now. Alright God, I got the message. Loud and clear! This weekend when I renew my license, I'm going to become an organ donor.

I checked my weight on the scale and I'd dropped 4 lbs this week!

I'd just like to say: I'M AWESOME!

The thought occurred to me: "Why do we say 'I lost 4 lbs'"?

I didn't lose the weight. I'm not looking around under the couch for those 4lbs. I'm not tacking up posters on telephone poles: "Have you seen this blubber??? $25 Reward"

No, I kicked the fat to the curb. I told it to take a hike. I worked the fat off.

I don't even like the whole idea of calling it weight loss, as if it's some sort of bad thing for me to get thinner, because it's not, clearly. Certainly there are people like Posh Spice, Amy Winehouse, etc that are just way too thin, and if they did drop a few more pounds, we could call that a loss...well I guess if Posh just kept dropping till she vanished, it could be a good thing...but I digress.

I don't want to call it weight loss any more. But I don't like any of the alternatives either:

• Getting healthy


• Slimming down


• Toning my figure

Those all sound like I should be sharing triscuits on the back veranda with the Golden Girls and Richard Simmons.

There are others I don't like either:

• Body sculpting


• Bulking up

Too meathead-ish.

I'm afraid that if I start using those terms, I'll end up with Tony Little and selling juicers on TNT at 3am.

I want a more manly and modern term for what I'm doing:

• Thinning up
• Spartanizing
• Fat Destroying
• Body Refactoring

Yeah, I don't know.

All I know is that this week, I parted ways with 4 more lbs of fat, and I feel great.

I went to Giant with my wife this evening to pick up a few groceries for tomorrow, and while walking down the omnibus DVDs, VHS', magazine, books, office supplies, school supplies, cards, and toys aisle I noticed a few movies that looked...familiar:

I know Disney doesn't own the rights to the stories there were based on, and people have the right to build new derivative works off of these legends, or tell their own version of the legend, but it really is the cover of the Alladin that seals the deal for me when it comes to whom they're...deriving from.

Funny enough, these are as much to buy as the movies they're imitating. I'm going to go back this weekend and snap some better pictures and photograph the backs as well.

My wife and I have been looking for a new car to replace the little green Nissan I've been driving. Please don't let my Nissan read this, by the way, she's a very good car, but she's getting raspy. It's like riding on the back of Joan Rivers "OY this ROAD. And do you see the paint job on that Hyundai? Honey, that color went out of style in the Nixon Administration".

We'd been looking at the smaller sedans, light on the price, just something simple to get me to work, with AC, a decent stereo, and not much else.

But when we stopped by the local Toyota dealership we saw they had two Priuses...Priuii? I'd always wanted to drive one and here was my chance.

The salesman got the key fob and got us in and started going through his spiel. It was an epiphany. It felt immediately right. It was the car I'd always wanted to drive. It was the car I was meant to be in. I like fast cars, I like performance, I enjoy ripping down a winding road in a finely tuned machine, but this felt...more correct.

I liked the fact that it saved gas. We were getting 50 miles to the gallon on the highway. I liked the idea that I was going to be saving money on gas while driving. I liked the idea that I would be doing less harm to the environment and keeping the Earth a little tidier for my children. I liked all of the electronics in the car, and the little features in the car. It was fun, and I was hooked.

So we're going to get a Prius. It's not something we're going to buy in the next few days, but this fall, we'll get a Prius.

Two bad incidents in one night:

1. My wife and I are planning on taking the kids to DisneyWorld this fall. We scheduled a flight on US Airways and carefully picked seat assignments so each of my children would have a window seat and would be boxed in by ourselves and grandparents, who are going with us. When we submitted our order, the computer just changed all of our seating arrangements around, so first we were scattered across the plan, and then so we were sitting in a row all the way across the plane.

   We called and finally spoke to a customer service rep and got the situation rectified, or so we thought. My wife checked today, and our seating arrangements had been changed AGAIN! Worse yet, the seats we had so carefully chosen were given to other people. WHAT THE HELL?

   I called and spoke with someone and they tried to help me as best as possible, but apparently they can bump us at will, but not these other people.
   



2. 
   I bought a Dell last year for work when I started my new job. All was good. In the last 3 months, the laptop's fallen apart. The left control key fell off and won't stay back on. The battery keeps complaining that it can't charge anymore, so I get maybe 30 minutes of battery life when sitting idle, the volume controls on the front of the laptop act erratically, and NOW...my fucking power brick is broken. I don't know if a fuse blew, or what, but I can't charge my damn laptop, and I have no batter power. Awesome.

   AWESOME.

   And I discovered this a minute after the Dell customer service line closed. So I have to wait until tomorrow to call them.

   The next computer I'm getting will NOT be a Dell.
   

UPDATE:I've been on the phone with Dell and my warranty's already expired, so I'm having to jump through hoops to get some assistance, but everyone's been really nice. I will say that I've been speaking Hindi to get some additional help and that seems to have worked so far, but I'm certainly not out of the woods yet. Here's hoping Dell's feeling charitable.

As for US Airways, I still have to call and speak with a manager and complain. Unfortunately I have a harder time understanding their customer service reps. As you can see from above, I don't have an issue with dealing with people from India, and I work with desi all the time, so it's not that fact that the call center is overseas that I'm frustrated with, just the quality of the people on the phone. Dell clearly works hard at getting their reps to speak English clearly (though with an Australian accent) but I can't place the accent of the people from US Airways, understand it clearly, and worst of all: they're so quiet on the phone.

UPDATE 2:
Dell finally called me back and their offer was: you pay us $19 and we'll tell you your shit is broken, and then we'll offer to let you buy new components from us.

I declined the offer. I told them I was going to buy a laptop from someone else, and be done with this one. But to no avail. They said the $19 was a discounted price already, but I figure if it's been broken this quickly after taking possession of it, they'd help me out further. Nope.

Kudos to their customer service people though. They are very nice and professional.

FINAL UPDATE:
I got in touch with a very nice lady at US Airways. She explained that their computer system will just move people around at random whenever they:

1. Change the schedule


2. Change the plane you're on

But they don't have to tell you when either happens, so you could reserve a flight and pick your seats and then show up at the airport and find out that your time has changed AND your seats have been moved. Tough luck for you pal.

I don't understand that policy, but that's what they have.

The rep at the corporate office did make a note on my account that we should be called if this happens again, so that makes me feel better, but still, now I'm paranoid about our seating arrangements.

I've been listening to "Explosions in the Sky" this afternoon. Like two other bands I listen to: "Sigur Ros" and "Godspeed you! Black Emperor", there's not a good succinct way to describe the bad. They're a rock instrumental band, and their songs are typically over 7 minutes long, but they're not a progressive rock band. They're noisy, they're jangly, they're melodic and dynamic...

When I listen I do hear the Texas countryside, big skies, predawn hours, helpless longing, and uncrushable hope. I hear driving in your car towards a complete and unavoidable but unknowable fate, driving 6 hours to meet a girl you've only ever talked to online, and know almost nothing about, headed towards what will either be the greatest story of your life or the most crushing defeat you've faced so far in your life. You don't know which it will be, but you do know you're only one hour out and there's no turning back now, so you speed up, pushing further and faster into the darkness, hopelessly optimistic and filled with dread.

That's listening to "Explosions in the Sky".

Dear Readers, I'm addressing this to a single person. As background: I spoke about a website last week, and how it was attacking people I considered friends. It has continued and expanded its rampage. It attacked me, amongst others, and has now driven several blogs to shut down altogether. I've also had some people email me and tell me that they'd have loved to comment in my favor on my blog but don't dare because they don't want to get dragged into the mess. I've tried addressing the author of the blog directly to no avail. He continues to cravenly attack people from behind the internet, guarding his anonymity while stripping it from other people. He hides his identity while constructing vile assertions about other people, people he doesn't even really now.

I will say upfront that I'm pretty sure I don't know who you are. I don't know how that matters, because know you or not, I confess that I don't understand what motivation drives someone to spit on others so much that they stop contributing to the internet. I'd love to draw a comparison between you and Fred Phelps and say "See, you're just like him." But I can't do that. Phelps is working off his deluded readings of the Bible. He thinks he's got God on his side. Not you.

You seem to have unsatiable need to tear people apart. You seem to be mining some deep vein of hate and mistrust that leads you to piss on everything other people create, no matter how valuable it might be. You say you're merely exercising your right to free speech. You say that's not terrorizing people...but as people walk away from their blogs, and are afraid to speak out, it's clear that that's exactly what you've done.

You may not have liked what they contributed, but the internet's such a vast and wonderful place that you don't ever have to read the people who anger you. You especially don't have to attack them until they go away.

Yes, Sepia Mutiny has banned people, and yes, they, like a lot of other websites I might add, have gotten comments about Islam being an evil religion. But then, it is their website, and if they want to have a policy that includes them banning people, or tolerating comments about you think are wrong, that's their choice. It really is "their house". If that angers you, then don't go there. Don't visit. But don't be some unremittingly negative voice on the internet that only serves to tear people down. If the very thing that angered you was the the fact that they would take away from some people the ability to speak then why are you working to level the same injustice on them?

None of us profit by silencing the voices of the people we disagree with. Nobody wins when people are afraid to speak.

But I think you're still too angry to understand that. So what outcome do you seek? Did you even consider the larger ramnifications of your actions? Or did you plunge headlong into this child-like behavior because you felt like you'd been wronged one too many times and "you'd shown them"? Well, you've shown them. The blogs are shutting down, and the people that you hate have gone away. You got what you wanted. You hurt them, scared them, and angered them. You've beaten up on decent people until they've gone away. When I first wrote about this, I drew a parallel to the Kathy Sierra case and you laughed at me. You said it was a conflation. Well, here we are and Anna, and others have stopped blogging, just as Kathy Sierra did. Still a conflation? I don't think so.

Of course you will point out that all you are doing is engaging in some good-natured fun, a little bit of parody of some public figures. What you're not seeing is that your idea of "fun" is ruining people's lives. That's not fun, or humorous. It's bullying. And just because the bully thinks it's funny, doesn't make it so.

And I know you're not going to agree with any of this, and you'll attack me for this. You'll say that we all exposed ourselves to the potential of ridicule, or that we deserved it through some 'logic' you've constructed. That's your choice. You will believe whatever you choose to believe. I, however, stand by this letter and what I've said.

And I ask that you humor me two more questions:

Do you feel better? I bet you don't. I bet that all of this vitriol you've spilled has not had the effect you wanted.

And so, now what?

I've been reading "Sepia Mutiny" for a while. It's one of my favorite blogs, and I've developed an online friendship with the founder of the blog, Anna. She's a great writer, a sweet human being, and I cherish the web empire she's created.

This morning she pointed out a blog that had been created dedicated entirely to attacking her, and her friends. I vehemently support the First Amendment, and the rights of all people to say the most offensive things on Earth. When trolls drive by my website spraying their hate, I let it stand, that is how firm I believe in the right of people to speak freely.

So I was saddened for a long time by the case of Kathy Sierra. She is an author and prominent technology blogger who woke up one morning to find that some one/people had created a blog filled with sexual menace and a few death threats. It was harrowing enough that she canceled speaking engagements and withdrew into her house.

Threatening rape and death against a person is clearly not protected speech, and I continue to hope that the perpetrators get punished.

All of this brings me back to Anna.

I still support the troll's right to speak however he or she wishes to speak, but I wrestle with this question:

Are we near a point where this action is going to cross into something more dangerous?

The amount of hate, anger, and pathology that is required to go through this effort is fairly large. large enough that I worry it's going to spill over into some other actions that will physically threaten, if not Anna, then certainly others around the mysterious blogger.

Is there a time when trolling crosses the line? Clearly, that line was crossed by those attacking Kathy Sierra. What about those attacking Anna, and the others Sepia Mutiny? I don't know. I don't know if they've gone too far. On a purely legal standing, I don't think I could say they have. On a personal level, I absolutely believe they have, and my inability to reconcile the two only compounds my worry.

I want to point to the shootings at VA Tech and say "See, no one spotted the warning signs and they were CLEARLY THERE! And here we are again!" But then, I'm probably being alarmist.

So when does trolling cross the line? Can the use of free speech done by trolls fall into a similar category of unprotected speech, like libel and slander? And where do we draw that line?

[UPDATE]
Since I started this piece on Friday, the mysterious blogger has added two new entries exposing the real identity of one of the other Sepia Mutiny bloggers, and have revealed further personal details about Anna. This has only served to multiply my worry.

"We can discover the wonders of nature rolling in the rushed down by the riverside..."
Sugar Magnolia - The Grateful Dead

When I woke up the sheer beauty of the morning made my breath catch in my throat. It was like I'd never seen shafts of light streaming through a window before.

On the drive to work I was a half-way through my first cup of coffee and I'd already had a soda when my horoscope showed up on my cellphone. "STAY AWAY FROM CAFFEINE TODAY!" read the first line. "Oh shit, am I going to die? I'm going to die! The caffeine will make my swelling heart burst in my chest!" I read the next line."You'll have a hard enough time sitting still as it is". Oh...WELL DUH!

"Oh what a beautiful morning. Oh what a beautiful day. I've got a wonderful feelin' everything's going my way"
Beautiful Day - OKLAHOMA! Original Cast Recording

I parked and walked down the long hill from the parking lot to my office singing "Beautiful Day" from Oklahoma! I have a passable baritone singing voice, but I rarely choose to employ it, mainly because I haven't had much formal training, and I get embarrassed. I keep promising myself I'll get some real training one of these days. Maybe this is the year. Then I can indulge in my love of show tunes and the Rat Pack in public more often.

"Just follow the seasons and find the time. Reach for the bright side!"
Light & Day / Reach for the Sun - The Polyphonic Spree

I took a stroll around the office this afternoon at lunch. I felt deliciously baked by the sun. It was lovingly licking everything around me. The ravine behind the office was painted in yellow flowers.

Whew, it's been such a wonderful day already...I can't wait to see what the afternoon delivers.

I've been focusing on working out at night (prime blogging hours) and losing weight. I'm enjoying the hell out of exercising. I've got soreness across my shoulders and arms and down my back from weight-lifting and core strengthening.

It's a pleasure to feel the ripple of the muscles under my skin and the tightness in my body. It's the sense of my body changing into what I want it to be.

I love it. I'm happy.

I also have my free time back now because I'm only working on one project at work, which means I have time for my family again, and that inflates my heart like nothing else. There is no greater tonic for me than time with my family.

My heart does ache for the tragedy in Virginia Tech. It is terrible for the loss of life, terrible for the loss of innocence, and I am saddened by the endless questioning this will cause, and the almost puerile voyeuristic media blitz. I don't begrudge the media for focusing on this horrific act, but I almost get more sick watching the media fetishizing the story than I do from the actual loss.

But maybe that's how we grieve in America, but endlessly gazing at the source of our grief...

Anyway...hell, I didn't mean to end on a down-note, given how good things are for me personally, but this is what's been on my mind.

Dear American Girl Company,
I wanted to let you know that I recently read a story about a truly horrible experience a little girl had at your New York City doll salon.

I'm the father of a little girl, and I've been waiting to get an American Girl for her, but having now read this story, and seeing the type of people you hire and the policies you endorse, I will not be buying my daughter one of your dolls. I will further be telling EVERYONE I know about this experience.

One of your employees broke a little girl's heart and invalidated every good feeling she had about herself. This employee crushed this young woman's self-esteem, and it's absolutely deplorable.

There are not words strong enough for me to express my outrage, and it was not even my daughter.

I hope you act quickly to rectify this matter and take care of that little girl.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Maurice Reeves

http://oneofthosehorriblemoms.blogspot.com/2007/03/fake-out.html
http://consumerist.com/consumer/american-girl/american-girl-place-mocks-6-year+old-for-having-a-doll-from-target-refuses-to-style-the-dolls-hair-246666.php

I am eddied and buoyed on a sea of suffering. Friends losing parents, medical emergencies, people losing jobs, other's marriages in turmoil; dissolving and somehow I am floating above this pain and anguish.

I look around me at all of this horror and wonder 'Are we next?" I see the lives snapping and hearts breaking and I think "Will I continue to be lucky enough to not know this?"

Yes, Heather and I have walked through some very dark times: the seizures, me losing my job twice, two high-risk pregnancies, a teeming crowd of other snarling wolves knocking down our door, threatening to drag us into the shade.

Maybe it's because we've already been broken, sat dejectedly on Christmas morning with no money to buy anything and no prospect, to sit in the hospital weeping so many times that we're insulated now.

And still I think it's folly to believe that we've somehow banked good karma and can avoid the next big disaster.

But right now I look around me at all of the people, my people, pierced by the sharp teeth of life and think "This too will pass". What cold comfort that must be...but it's true. So maybe instead of saying that, I can hold them, each one of them and say "I'm sorry this has happened. I'm sorry you're hurt. I'm sorry you are suffering. You probably don't feel it right now, but you are stronger than this moment's anguish. And I love you."

The last few weeks I've noticed that I'm not enjoying eating meat as much as I used to. I was the guy who would saddle up to the trough and order a giant plate of the brontosaurus ribs, with an extra plate of bacon and some cheese sauce to dip it in...but I don't know. Not anymore.

It might be that my tastes are changing as I'm getting older, perhaps it's because I'm eating more Indian and Chinese food; I'm sampling through better vegetarian dishes; my cooking skills are getting better; there's more variety to choose from. All of the above are true, and right now I think I could do without meat for at least two meals a day.

This isn't to say that if someone wanted to invite me to Ruth's Chris Steak House or to go get wings, I'd demure. It also doesn't mean that I'm going to go completely vegetarian, or worse, vegan. It also doesn't mean I'm going to try and force my opinion on others. At this point all it means is I'm not looking around the table for 3 different kinds of meat and the hot bacon dressing for my salad.

I need to stop reading Men's Health and GQ. I've just spent the last 10 minutes debating whether or not I should tuck in a flannel shirt I am...I might...wear out of the house. I even started searching online for the answer, but that was no help.

I think the best thing I can do is stop reading those magazines and stop worrying...

Tomorrow I go to one of my clients and hand over the software to them.

I am excited to be able to deploy software and transition into a new role, a role which will give me my nights and weekends back. I am so ready to have my own life back, and I am sure my client is too.

I've really enjoyed working on this project and working with my client but I'm ready for a break. I'm ready for some rest. I'm ready to start writing again.

I have plush butts on the brain. Check out my callipygian iPod mix:

Spinal Tap - Big Bottom
Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls
Sir-Mix-A-Lot - Baby Got Back
Harry Belafonte - Jump In The Line (what? you don't believe this belongs in a mix about nice butts? ahem...When she wind up she bottom she go like a rocket What a lucious lyric.
K.C. and the Sunshine Band - Shake Your Booty

I've been watching other cars out on my travels because we're coming to a point where I need to get a new car. The Nissan I'm driving around in is beat up and tired to say the least. Sure, it's a Nissan and could last us another 60,000 miles, but I don't know that I want to be driving it every day putting those kinds of miles on it.

Unfortunately, I'm not finding very many cars that excite me. I don't mean excite like "I want to put them in my pants" excitement, though that would be cool, but just something that would make me want to drive one. My friends have some great cars, like the new Corolla, the new Element, and so on, and I really do like the Element, but I'd say 96% of the cars I'm looking at are just plain boring.

I keep seeing Mini Coopers, which come closest to being the car I really want to get behind the wheel of.

I guess I should preface all of the above by saying that I have a certain price range, so certain levels of luxury and performance are already out...but even the BMWs and Mercedes are kind of *yawn* pedestrian these days.

Where in the hell are the cool and exciting cars?

When I'm procrastinating and avoiding trying to write I'll spend time on Flickr searching for strange photos. But I have to say that my friend Ranzino's always has awesome pictures. He's in "public relations", whatever that means. I think it means he's a greeter at Wal-Mart. That's public relations, right? Anyway, whatever it is he's doing these days, I think he should focus on the photography and make a living at it.

You should probably start here with his favorites and then work through the rest.

I've returned to work after my 11 days off and already I'm ready for a vacation. I'd love to be able to take off a week every two months or so, or save them up and take the last half of November and all of December off.

The best work schedule I ever had had me working 3 12-hour days Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and 4 hours on Wednesday, giving me almost all of Wednesday, and the rest of the week off.

On the political side, I've been paying attention to the news and following what's going on but I'm not in a mood (at least, right now) where I want to discuss it. There's lots of material I could riff on, but..not right now.

Because now I'm going to go lay down and do a crossword puzzle.

I stood out on my front porch this evening, smoking a Montecristo cigar and listening to the fast-falling drizzle. I'd been at a friend's party earlier playing nickel poker. They were setting up a diesel air-horn from a train to set off in his apartment complex at midnight. I couldn't stay at the party but I knew that I'd be able to hear it from home. So I stood and waited.

Some of my neighbors partied, the elderly couple next door sending their friends home at 11.30 while the teenagers at the end of the cul-de-sac running around and screaming.

The cigar burned unevenly and I had to keep re-lighting it. A solitary figure down the street walked his dog in the rain, and I could already hear sirens screaming in the distance. Five minutes before midnight the fireworks started; dull thumping and sharp crackles pierced the night air. My tongue prickled and swelled from the smoke, and I was feeling a bit light-headed.

Suddenly the fire sirens blared, and the thumps became a rolling cacophonous thunder. At the stroke of midnight an air-horn blared across the valley, several short blasts before a single massive bleat.

I laughed for several more minutes as the cigar died down and I went in to have a glass of cognac to finish off the night.

2006 was a good year for me, for us. I hope that 2007 is at least as good if not better. And I hope the same for you.

Happy New Year!

Been spending some time listening to new music over my vacation, and stumbled into a treasure trove of Nerdcore. I'm totally smitten with MC Router and MC Plus +.

There's an awesome amount of free music to be had out there, like at Rhyme Torrents or Drown Radio (site of nerdcore artist Doctor Popular), or nerdcorehiphop.org.

Who'd have thought that the worlds of Computer Science and Gangsta Rap would merge so awesomely.

"Hey you got your algorithm in my bling!"
"Hey you got your bling in my algorithm!"

Oh what sweet white nerdy tastiness.

But I was able to walk around my street in shorts and bare feet this morning while walking the dog and I have the spring onions and daffodils sprouting in the backyard.

There's no end in sight for the unseasonably warm weather either.

I've always liked winter, the eye-watering snap of the cold air, the crunch of the ground under my feet when I walk across it, even the way the dry air makes my lungs slightly ache during a deep freeze. I stand still and quiet out in the swirling snowstorm to surround myself with the hushed brightness, a soft blanket of diamonds falling from the sky, sledding down the big hills on our giant yellow plastic disc, falling into the deep banks and getting buried by my kids.

Winter is a good excuse to build a roaring fire and make Irish coffee to sip while sitting snug under a blanket and read a book. It feels like a waste to build a fire when it's 40 degrees outside.

People keep telling me that I lucky there's no snow and I should be grateful for the warm weather. If I wanted warm weather I would move South and live in Georgia or Florida. I want my kids to know snow, to live in it, chase it, to really feel the changing of the seasons in their bones; a primal clock that teaches them about the passage of time.

This weather we have now does nothing but frustrate me.

So I'm on vacation right now, for the next week. I actually took vacation from Friday of last week but I've been too busy (on my vacation) to even get in front of my computer. Go figure...

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and I will try to get back here with more news and posts in the next day or two.