In light of the stunning revelations, provided entirely willingly and never under duress or while being tortured (yeah right), from Khalid Sheik Mohammed, I thought it important to highlight some of the many things he did confess to that have gotten lost in the mix:
- I shot Andy Warhol because of those damned soup cans,
- I shot Archduke Ferdinand, thereby plunging Europe into WWI,
- OJ is innocent. I stabbed Nicole and Ron,
- I am responsible for New Coke,
- I secretly sent those IMs, not Mark Foley,
- I blew up the Hindenburg,
- Oh, I gave John Wilkes Booth the gun he used to shoot Lincoln,
- I created that dinosaur Barney,
- I've was Katherine Harris' lover in college,
- and I voted for Nader!
I bet he feels better getting all of that off his chest. I know I would.
