MauriceReeves.com http://www.mauricereeves.com/ Son of Yacub. en Copyright 2008 Fri, 18 Apr 2008 15:06:04 -0500 http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss A Brief List of Gratitude
  • Coffee. In fact, all this past month, I'm grateful for coffee.
  • My children, and how they interrupt me when I'm working for hug breaks, or just how they'll lay down on the bed so they can be in the same room with me while I work.
  • My wife and how she tolerates my desire to be more green.
  • Death Cab for Cutie.
  • My new lawnmower. It doesn't buck or vibrate madly like the old one. How nice.
  • That my wife's letting me do more of the cooking lately. It feels like I've finally arrived in the kitchen.
  • The nice weather outside. How wonderful to have the windows open again.
  • A clean garage where I can tinker and finally build my work bench.
  • Being able to work from home again.
    • ]]>     http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001020.html http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001020.html enjoyment family gratitude happiness life warmth Fri, 18 Apr 2008 15:06:04 -0500     Overheard At My House LIGHT UP THE STAGE AND WAX A CHUMP LIKE A CANDLE" and proceeded to rap the entire rest of the "Ice Ice Baby", complete with funky dancing. After letting me go for a minute my wife said "I don't think that talent's something other people would be proud of". Marital bliss I tell you . :)]]> http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001019.html http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001019.html Family family morning overheard talent Vanilla Ice vignette wife Wed, 26 Mar 2008 14:23:16 -0500 Why I've Been Away I've been away and not blogging for a while, but not because I hate you. In fact, I love you guys. But I've been on two projects that are both coming to a close soon, but they've consume all of my time. In fact, too much time, as my kids are prone to tell me every day. I like that I have more responsibility at work, and I'm happy with what I'm doing, but it doesn't leave a lot for blogging. However, I have a plan. I've got a list of topics that I'm working on to start blogging. I want to get back out here and start writing about some of the things that are important to me. So, please accept my apologies for ignoring you and I hope you're willing to come back and read what I've got to read. Thx. http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001018.html http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001018.html Blogs apologies Fri, 21 Mar 2008 21:14:35 -0500 Whew And that Tears for Fears song *just* ended. Thank God. http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001017.html http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001017.html 80's music tears for fears Sat, 29 Dec 2007 23:57:51 -0500 Tears for Fears Never Knew How To End A Song One day a while ago we were listening to some Journey at work, indulging a cheese craving if you will, and after the end of the song dragged on for a few minutes my friend Chris said "Ah yes, the 80's where no one knew how to end a song". I laughed, but it never occurred to me how correct that statement was until yesterday when I left work. I have four songs from Tears for Fears ("Shout", "Head Over Heels", "Sowing the Seeds of Love", and "Everybody Wants to Rule the World") on my iPod and I decided to listen to them when heading home. Leaving the front door of my office I put on "Shout". Down the elevator and it's still "Shout", walking the two minutes down to the train station and it's still "Shout". Waiting for the train and they're just now getting around to winding down. I know it's only supposed to be a 6-minute song but it felt like a full-blown rock opera. By the time all four song had wound down my Amtrak train had left Philadelphia back towards Harrisburg. I could have let the same four songs play all the way home and probably heard them 4 times each. http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001016.html http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001016.html music train Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:28:20 -0500 Two Demented Parenting Tips Cellphone ringtones. See, my kids know about Santa Claus. We've told them that Santa's all-knowing. We've told them that Santa's all-seeing. We've told them that Santa has a round-the-clock surveillance system Dick Cheny has killed to try and get his hands on, and more importantly, Santa is in constant communication with all parents all the time. And this is where cellphone ringtones come in handy. If I think my children are being very bad and they're not respecting my authority oooo, look, it's the special Santa ringtone coming out of my phone! "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake..." The look of sheer terror and wonder that song on my phone can evoke is nothing short of beautiful. Which is where the other tip comes in. I told my daughter a while ago that every time she lies, one of Santa's elves dies, and that Santa knows whose lie killed the elf. "Who had the toy first?" "I did!" "No! I did!" "I promise daddy, I had it first. I'm not lying" "No I had it first! She's lying!" *after a few minutes of this* "He sees you when you're sleeping...he knows when you're awake...." "Hello Santa! How...oh my god! How many elves are dead???? Oh my. That is a lot. Oh...I think I should sit down..." "Daddy, Owen had the toy first. I was lying." "Daddy, I hit her first, I was lying." Yes sir...works every time. You should use both of these tips in your house. You'll be amazed by the power and terror you wield with these two simple techniques. You'll wonder how you ever got by without them before.]]> http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001015.html http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001015.html Family cellphones children family lying ringtones Santa Claus Sat, 10 Nov 2007 20:20:03 -0500 A Glimpse Into My Heart I went with Heather to the grocery store on Saturday, which is a treat, because I'm normally parked at home for fear I'll buy an $11 cheese or some imported Italian meat...and Heather's been feeling bad lately because she just had a root canal, and on Thursday she had her wisdom teeth out, so she's not eating either, which is doubly tough on her...I walked up behind her in the aisle, and wrapped my arm around her waist and just pulled her close. I felt the urge to, and she melted into me, and snuggled into me for a second right there in the middle of the store, and that unexpected moment of intimacy, in public no less, made my heart suddenly melt. I felt it burst open and gush everywhere, and one tear ran down my cheek. I pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head while another tear sneaked out, and then it was over, but that one moment of overwhelming love has stuck with me since Saturday. Even now, writing this, I want to cry again, the feeling of joy is so strong. http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001014.html http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001014.html Family family love marriage shopping wife Mon, 01 Oct 2007 10:53:29 -0500 More News from the Police State this NY Times article, which will make everything clear. Or will it? See, unfortunately, we don't get any answers as to why the DHS and ICE yanked this woman off of a plane, threw her into a holding room, proceeded to mock her, threaten her with indefinite detention if she moved, groped her, and refused to let her speak with someone in her consulate. In fact, at one point she was told:
    "They told me I was nobody, I was nowhere and I had no rights," she said. "For the first time, I understood what the deprivation of liberty means."
    Funny how that works. People in this country continue to say that we've got nothing to fear from our government while it's so incompetent it can't even figure out that someone who's name is Nalini Ghuman is not "hispanic" as the officers from ICE put down, or that it's even possible she really does speak Welsh, even though that's where she lives. The news is filled with stories of government incompetence, legalized graft, and abuse of rights. Just about EVERYONE acknowledges that your average bureaucrat couldn't find his ass with both hands and a map. And still people believe we should trust them, as if some magical cure for this bumbling and contempt for decency will show up one day. Can't they see, can't you see that Ms. Ghuman threatens no one, except those who don't like Edward Elgar, oh, and maybe the former leading scholar on Edward Elgar: Lord Rumpole Winnifred Hingebottom. And still, as a non-threat to almost the entire world, she was treated like she was the primary suspect of 9/11. Maybe you've forgotten, but we had the primary suspect for the 9/11 attacks cornered on the side of a mountain in Afghanistan but through incompetence we let him slip through our fingers. Instead we waste time and money on egregiously abusive snipe hunts like what happened to Ms. Ghuman. Hey, perhaps it was Lord Hingebottom that arranged to have Ms. Ghuman detained. After all, ICE was kind enough to suggest that a jilted lover or rival had written a poison pen letter to the State Department which caused her visa to be revoked.]]>     http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001013.html http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001013.html Police State desi DHS England fascism freedom ICE liberty police state San Francisco TSA Thu, 20 Sep 2007 00:46:48 -0500     "The Golden Age" part II SOMEBODY MISSED THE TOILET AGAIN!" Well, if anyone looks at me, I point at my son and shrug my shoulders. I no longer have to admit to my wife that I was the phantom puddler because I was trying to hang out the bathroom door, leaning on one leg, shooting at a great distance while watching the Redskins on the TV instead of where I was aiming. I just say "Well honey, you know that Owen's still learning to aim. You can't really blame him." It's a great great thing. Of course, the other day I had to pay the price for this because while letting him go whizz in a farmer's field on Sunday he let fly all over my shoes.]]> http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001012.html http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001012.html Family children family humor pee piss Redskins toilet whizz Wed, 19 Sep 2007 21:21:20 -0500 This Week In The Police State
  • This one, I'm sure you've heard of already. A student in Florida was tasered for trying to ask John Kerry a question. He was tased for being a "pest". Here's an article with a video from the Huffington Post, whom I don't normally read, but hey, it's got the video. See if yourself. And can I just say that I think John Kerry's a fucking coward? Any one with a half a sense of decency should have gotten off of that stage and intervened, not let a student get tasered in the back of the auditorium.
  • My favorite though, comes via CNN. A grandmother in Utah was at home when the local police stopped by. They wanted to cite her for her brown lawn, which I guess is against the law. When she refused to give her name to the officer she was knocked to the ground and cuffed. She was injured on her nose and had to spend time in jail. For NOT WATERING HER LAWN. Here's that story.
    • Again we see examples of the police believing that their primary job is beat up the people they're sworn to protect, the people who pay their salaries. They go out of their way to overpower and physically intimidate anyone, including grandmothers, who doesn't immediately snap to attention.]]>     http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001011.html http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001011.html Police State college fascism Florida police police abuse police brutality police state taser Utah Wed, 19 Sep 2007 20:09:30 -0500     "The Golden Age" "The Golden Age". I argued a strong case for letting him carry on for the next six months so he gets to enjoy it. But as I'm outnumbered, male, and make sense, I was summarily overruled.]]> http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001009.html http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001009.html Family boobs children family fondling humor logic satire Mon, 10 Sep 2007 16:03:54 -0500 This Week In The Police State
  • This is from 2004, but it's still a good story: Sheriff Joe Arpaio sent his crack SWAT team to an upscale neighborhood in Phoenix to "seize illegal weapons". They instead burnt down the house they were attacking, killing the dog inside, and arresting one of the inhabitants for a traffic violation. After the raid, one of Sheriff Joe's men drove the tank they took with them over a neighbor's car. Full story here.
  • Police arrested a worker at McDonalds for serving an "oversalty burger". The burger's been turned over to the crime lab for investigation. Story here.
  • Police in Singapore arrived in four riot vehicles to put down a protest being staged by tiny plastic figurines. Story here.
  • A Police Office in Missouri became enraged when a motorist refused to explain why he parked in an empty parking lot at 2am. So the officer kindly offered to create bogus charges for an arrest. Read the transcript and watch the video: http://www.thenewspaper.com/news/19/1961.asp
  • Mounted police in Washington DC stormed into a press conference and protest against the war in Iraq arresting the organizers. Story here: http://rawstory.com/news/afp/Police_break_up_anti_war_meeting_in_09062007.html
  • And a few stories from Australia, which just had the APEC summit, which George Bush attended. Police were warned that they should expect "level of violence not previously experienced in Sydney", and that groups of protestors would unleash...well...hell on Earth. So they had snipers everywhere, they had police assaulting fathers in front of their children because they had the AUDACITY to walk across the street to go to lunch. They even had their officers remove their "required" identification badges moments before the police stormed protestors and beat them. Of course, all of this was worth it because, as we found out, the biggest security threat at APEC was the comedy troupe "The Chaser", who were able to infiltrate security posing as a group of Canadian delegates. I guess The Chaser folks didn't know that APEC is strictly a no-mirth zone.
    • Ah, such helpful tactics from the police you can almost smell the love on the tips of their batons.]]>     http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001008.html http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001008.html Police State fascism freedom liberty police police abuse police brutality police state Mon, 10 Sep 2007 14:34:55 -0500     The Day I Realized There Was More To Married Life listened to the song. And I heard it. The line: "She never lost her head, even when she was giving head". Explicit visions danced in my head. My body suddenly ached. Was I the only one who heard that? When did that line sneak into the song? Was it always there? My hand involuntarily whipped out and smacked Jeff across the chest, but he didn't pay any attention to me. He kept talking to Leo. I looked forward for a second and saw Leo's mom in the vanity mirror of her sun visor. She was suddenly prettier, and for a second, she and I looked at each other. A subtle smile darted across her face and vanished. She knew I'd heard the line, and that I'd understood it. More importantly, she let me know she'd heard the line, and that she understood it. REALLY UNDERSTOOD IT And she wasn't freaked out by the notion. In my head she was going to go home that night and do it to her husband. Husbands and wives did that! And as if to confirm it, she reached over and grabbed her husband's hand. I don't remember the rest of the car ride home. Instead I basked in the glow of my new knowledge.]]> http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001007.html http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001007.html Blogs family Hershey Park Lou Reed oral sex sex sexuality Fri, 31 Aug 2007 23:27:50 -0500 Don't Miss The Midget and The Duchess! Stories For Men I don't know about you, but I'm interested in the Midget and the Duchess. I'd like to know how that one worked out.]]> http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001005.html http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001005.html Blogs retro advertising porn camping magazine mail order Sat, 25 Aug 2007 15:40:04 -0500 I, For One, Do Not Mourn 'Stupidity' about such phenomenon said it's going to get more and more dangerous and people are going to die doing these stunts. I'm not really unhappy about this, because the way I figure it means my daughter's a lot less likely to marry one of these knucklehead's children. They're excusing themselves from the gene pool, and nothing could make me happier.]]> http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001004.html http://www.mauricereeves.com/archives/001004.html Blogs children gene pool Jackass marriage stunts Fri, 24 Aug 2007 23:57:08 -0500